


What is Love?

by Myfavotps



Category: MXM (Band)
Genre: Angst, Dongpaca, M/M, Romance, YoungDong
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-10
Updated: 2018-03-10
Packaged: 2019-03-29 12:44:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13927386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Myfavotps/pseuds/Myfavotps
Summary: What is Love? A lot of people look for the answer to this difficult question everyday. Let’s see what love means to our main characters.





	1. Let’s turn back time

**Author's Note:**

> Well as you can see from the tags this will be a dongpaca /Kim Donghyun and Lim Youngmin/ fanfic again. They are just too perfect alone and together, too. In MXM I don’t have a bias. I don’t know why I need one. There is enough place for both of them in my heart. I love them equally. I just wanted to tell this here.  
>            There will be some real facts about them in this story again, but the other are only my fantasy. Youngmin always wants to be a Zero, well in my story he can be a real God Zero. I’m just saying it will be a bit more daring than my previous work, so it’s not for little girls. Well let’s start. I hope you will enjoy it. I would be happy if you leave me a comment. Let me know what you think about my fanfic. English isn’t my first language so please be patient with me if I made some grammar mistakes. I still have a lot to learn.

**Youngmin’s pov**

 

           I always looked at Donghyun as my little brother until that day. Those minutes changed everything. We were in Japan and shot the traveling report there. Everybody can watch on the internet as we lay together on the top bunk and DongDong decided to do a camera massage on my face. I can’t deny it was funny looking at our faces like that. So everything was okay at least at that time was still okay, but what happened after we had done shooting wasn’t okay at all. He said, „I’m so tired hyung. Can I sleep here a little?” Well what could I reply to my dongsaeng as a reliable hyung. I said, „Okay....but after an hour you have to take a shower and go to your place.” „I will...” he said and some minutes later he already slept like a log. I was also tired but I had some plans to the other day so I do some searching on the net, what could I do on Tottori besides parachuting.

           Once I noticed something odd next to me. Donghyun started storking himself and taking off his clothes one by one. He almost tore his shirt in pieces. Some minutes later he was full naked while I was paralyzed. What had he just done? Well with that wasn’t over, he turned towards me and nestled against me. He started kissing my neck and stroking my dick through my pants. Well maybe you’re asking now why didn’t I stop him? Yeah now I know I should have done that...I should have,.....but I just couldn’t do it. I still can’t understand why but I felt hot and some minutes later I became hard as a rock. I just couldn’t help touching him. Because.....wow....his body is as perfect as his face. I had never seen him naked until that night. He was always so shy so we took shower separately and got dressed alone, too. So it was a whole new thing to look at him without clothes. His skin was so soft. I also wanted to taste him so I pulled on his hair to tilt his head back then I bit and sucked his neck gently not leaving marks on his flawless skin. My other hand slided down onto his butt slowly without thinking and grabbed it. It fitted in my hand perfectly. He was quiet....I only heard some deep sighs. His eyes was still closed. I started to lose my mind. I wanted more and more so the next moment changing our position I was already on top of him. I pinned his hands over his head with my right hand and I gently traced the tips of my fingers across his jaw, cupping my hands around his chin and staring at him for a few seconds, before leaning in for tasting his skin on his neck again. It was saly because of sweat but it was still desirable. Finally he let out a moan, as I thrust myselt foward between his thighs. „ Shhh......they will hear us.” I whispered. We are in that Japanese hotel where only a curtain separated us from the other guests so we had to do everyting in silence. I kissed him stopping his moans. My pants was so tight I wanted to take them off, but at that moment Donghyun ended our kiss „Hyung!!!.....Stop!....What are you doing?!” I heard his voice. When I opened my eyes I see him looking at me angrily. „What.....? You started!!!!....” I said uncomprehendingly. „Hyung....I’m just hot... It’s a weird sleeping habit.....That’s all.” he said escaping from my embrace. I just blinked and I couldn’t understand anything. He took on his clothes quickly and went to take a shower leaving me with hard dick. „What was this?”

           Well I think you can understand now why I can’t see him as my little brother anymore. After that day we haven’t talked about what happened between the two of us. It’s our dirty little secret. He became shy again and hasn’t showed himself naked in front of me. He lives his life as if we hadn’t done anything. Maybe he has already forgotten that night, but for me it’s a torture every day. Whenever he is near me I can’t help recalling those sweet memories of touching and kissing each other. I can still feel his taste on my tongue. I don’t know what can I do.

           And here we are again. We are shooting ASMR Live. Some weeks ago I would have thought of it as a good party, but now as I’m standing here before him, I just want to escape from this situation. My whole body is hot and I can’t see anything only his dark eyes and his pink lips. I just want to kiss him again like that night but I mustn’t do that. And he is just playing as usual, he is smiling at me and poking my chest with his fingers playfully. He is so mean. Why can’t he see he is killing me? I’m looking at his eyes deeply and I whispering, „I’m the only one for you, and you’re the only one for me boy girl. You already know I want you” I’m trying to give him a sigh that I think about only him nowadays. But he can’t take my hint or he doesn’t want to. I can’t stand this anymore. Finishing the song I grab his hand and I’m pulling him towards the toilet. „What are you doing, hyung?” he is trying to get free again so I tighten my grip on his wrist. Why can’t he understand my feelings? „Don’t play with me....Can’t you see how much I want you!....” I’m shouting at him pulling him closer to me by his choker on his neck. He is just looking at me narrowing eyes. „Do you love me or you just want to get my ass?” he is asking dryly. „I...I...” what can I say? I also don’t know exactly what is this all. Love or just lust. „Look! You don’t love me you just need someone to help you get rid of your bulge....Find someone else. I don’t want to be your sex toy.” he vows and leaves me there with standing dick again.

           Well that’s nice. I have to masturbate alone again. Love....what is love anyway? I don’t know I have never been in love. Most of my fans think I’m an innocent boy, but the truth is I had some girls that I fucked. It is natural I have a dick after all. Despite these things, I have never felt anything more than lust and curiosity. It was just sex.....Maybe am I gay? I don’t know as well. I have never become hard because of a boy before. Donghyun was the first who turned me on. Awww...and here is those memories again. I’m staring to jack myself off.....thinking his soft, salty skin...his sweet moans...the taste of his lips, everything is still in my mind clearly. Love...what is that? I’m asking again and again as I’m cumming. Salty.....what is this?....I taste my salty tears on my lips. Why am I crying? I hate this....I want to turn back time where we were only brothers. I want to get back my little dongsaeng. I miss those innocent feelings. „Keep your cool Youngmin... Relax......Everything will be alright....” I’m trying to calm myself down abortively. I still can’t stop my tears from falling. I can’t remember when was the last time I cried. Some months ago....maybe....yeah in Produce 101 final episode. I haven’t cried since then. „It’s suck...I’m fucking pathetic...” And he is so mean....how can he be like this? He is usually nice and friendly with me and he really is. I know it’s not just acting. I can see it in his gaze, in the luminous smile that comes over his face when he looks at me, and feel it in his gentle touches. It can’t be just acting. But why is he such unfeeling with me now? I’m sure he didn’t sleep when we did those things, but why does he behave like he forgot everything. Why am I the only one who remember them? Why can’t I get rid of those memories? Maybe I just don’t want to.......I have to try harder.....I need someone to make me forget him. Maybe I’m only horny....it’s been almost a year since I had sex....I need a bitch. After all there are plenty more fish in the sea.

 

*  
**Donghyun’s pov**

 

           I always looked at Youngmin as my elder brother until that day. We were at the practice room and danced to welcome to my hollywood. I still have a vivid picture of us, Youngmin hyung, Daehwi, Woojin and me, working so hard to show our best on the Produce 101 casting. Despite we were so nervous, we laughed at everything. We just enjoyed spending our time together. We are like the four musketeers, one for all, all for one until that afternoon that changed everything. Once a pretty girl appeared in the door. „Youngmin oppa...I’m here.” she shouted to hyung sweetly. Turning towards her he smirked at her then ran to her and gave a peck on her lips. I was jealous, that girl was really beautiful. I always wanted a girlfriend like her, but every dolly would have liked to date with Youngmin hyung. They clinged to him like plaster-bandages.

           Hyung and that girl left us. I thought they would talk a little and maybe they would share some kisses, but after an hour they were still nowhere, so I went to find them. Youngmin also knew it well, we had to practice. I wasn’t too good at dancing back then, but he helped me a lot to became better. So I needed him. The memory is still fresh in my mind as I noticed them having sex in the toilet. The girl leaned on the sink and hyung was behind her. Maybe you are asking why didn’t I leave them alone. I should have done that.....I should have....but I couldn’t go away. My legs was numb and I felt weak. I couldn’t help staring at them, as Youngmin hyung’s dick went deeper and moved faster in that pussy. Now I know why but at that time I couldn’t understand why I felt hot imagining myself in the place of that girl.....yeah the girl’s place not Youngmin’s place...it was so surreal. While seeing, hearing and smelling them I became hard. I had to lean against the wall with one hand otherwise I would have collapsed. Rosing up my gaze our eyes met. Staring at me he gave me a smirk and my heart skipped a beat. Finally I pulled myself together and ran out of the toilet escaping from his magnetic gaze.

          Entering the practice room Daehwi and Woojin came to me worrying. „What happened to you, hyung? You look awful.” my dear little dongsaeng asked me grabbing my hands. Woojin stood there blinking. „I don’t feel well....-” I started but Youngmin hyung cut me off. When did he come back I didn’t know. „Let him alone Daehwi...he is just horny...” the two younger glanced at each other and started laughing at me. „Well I have to admit she knows how to turn guys on.” he said smiling and he gripped my dick playfully. I whined and run out of the room. They teased me. „Call me if you need a helpful hand.” Youngmin shouted to me.

         It was humiliating then, but such things happen between boys almost every day. At least they can’t hear my thoughts, they can’t see my fantasy where I’m that bitch in my hyung’s arm, where he fucks me hard everyday. I have realised I’m the best actor in the world. I act the good boy role while jerking myself off thinking about Youngmin. It’s disgusting, but I became like this after seeing them fuck.

          After what happened in Japan I have to admit I do such things when I sleep too. I remember I was so tired and hyung let me sleep next to him. And I had a very hot dream. Youngmin took off my clothes one by one. He almost tore my shirt in pieces. Some minutes later I was full naked. I started kissing his neck and stroking his dick through his pants. He became hard. He pulled on my hair to tilt my head back then he bit and sucked my neck. His other hand slided down onto my butt and grabbed it hard. Changing our position he was already on top of me. He pinned my hands over my head with his hand and he gently traced the tips of his fingers across my jaw, cupping his hand around my chin before leaning in for tasting my skin on my neck again. I let out a moan, as he thrust himself foward between my thighs. „ Shhh......they will hear us.” he whispered.....Wait a minute since when he worried about that someone would have heard us after he fucked me everywhere, in front of everyone over and over again. Well then I realised it wasn’t a dream...it was really happening. I'm ashamed of the things I had done. I stopped him even though it was so difficult I also wanted him, but the fantasies and dreams aren’t real. It’s one thing imagine having sex with someone but do it in real life is another thing. That is to say I'm totally scared of buttsex. I have never tried it before, just in my dreams where of course it isn’t painful.

        „Hyung!!!.....Stop!....What are you doing?!” I said to him. When he opened his eyes I looking at him angrily. „What.....?!....You started!!!!....” he said uncomprehendingly. Maybe he was right, but in my dream he started it. „Hyung....I’m just hot... It’s a weird sleeping habit.....That’s all.” I explained. I was so embarrassed. I escaped from his embrace. He just blinked. I took on my clothes quickly and went to the bathroom to clean myself up. But the truth was I jerked myself off while showering. I have had my strongest orgasm in my life as I could still feel Youngmin’s touches and kisses on my skin. It drove me crazy. After that night our relationship hasn’t changed a lot, because I act my good boy role perfectly. While talking, smiling and laughing I imagine as he pushes his dick inside me deep.

        And here we are again. We are shooting ASMR Live. We are too near to each other. I can feel his warm breath on my skin. I can’t help going closer to him. He attracts me like a magnet. Oh my God.....I’m flirting with him openly.....How can I be like this?.....I have to stop....but I can’t when he is looking at me like this. I just want him to kiss me again like that night but we mustn’t do that. He seems embarrassed. It’s cute. I can’t help poking his chest with my fingers playfully. He is looking at my eyes deeply and whispering, „I’m the only one for you, and you’re the only one for me boy girl. You already know I want you” If only this was true. If only I was the only one for him. If only he loved me only. I would be happy even if we just looked at each other eyes like this. If he whispered into my ear he needs only me, I would give him everything. For me it’s more than just lust.....I think....I really fell into him. I’m feeling weak....I just need to go away from him...but as the shooting ends he grabs my wrist and he is pulling me towards the toilet.

       „What are you doing, hyung?” I’m trying to get free but he tightens his grip on my wrist. It hurts hyung....why are you like this? „Don’t play with me....Can’t you see how much I want you!....” he is shouting at me pulling me closer by my choker. He seems so angry. „Do you love me or you just want to get my ass?” Words leave my mouth without thinking....no.........the truth is ........I want his whole self not only his body. „I...I...” he hesitates....I knew he only wants to fuck me like that girl then leaves me. „Look! You don’t love me you just need someone to help you get rid of your bulge....Find someone else. I don’t want to be your sex toy.” I vow and leave him. My whole body is shaking. I can’t help bursting into tears. It was better when we are only hyung and dongsaeng, from now on our relationship will never be the same. I’m sure he hates me now. I can’t do this anymore.....I don’t dare to appear in front of his eyes again...I can’ t breath....I need fresh air. Without thinking I go out of the building and start running as fast as I can... whither I don’t know and I really don’t care...I just need to be far away from him.


	2. Don’t think, just feel!

**Youngmin’ pov**

 

 

          „Oppa....don’t you want me?...” she is asking me with curious eyes holding my limp dick in her hands. I don’t know why it can’t stand up. I have never had such problem. „Oppa...close your eyes...and think something hot.....” Hot...something sexy....Donghyun’s body....his little nipples....his well-shaped butt, that fitted in my hands perfectly. His fresh scent.....his lingering look....wait when was he looked at me like this.......I’m searching in my memories...yeah...that day when he saw me fucking that pretty girl....back then I thought he looked at that bitch...no...he stared at me....he always looked at me...only me....why I couldn’t realise before. I’m sure he wants me as I want him. Thinking back I haven’t dated since our eyes met while I had sex with that girl though I have had so many opportunities. Is it Love?...When you learn to wait for someone. Maybe you are not meant to be together today but meant to be in the future. ”Oppa...look you became hard” she calls happily. „Aha...but it’s not your worthiness.” I say as I push her away. „Sorry...I have to go now.” I take on my clothes and leave her there with wet pussy as Donghyun left me then with standing dick.

         I have to find DongDongie. „What?! He hasn’t gone home yet?!” I’m talking to our manager on phone. When I came here...he said my dongsaeng went somewhere....I thought he needed a little time alone, but it’s already 8 o’clock....that means he disappeared about six hours ago. He left behind his wallet and his phone in the studio. It’s cold outside and he doesn’t have his coat and he must be hungry already. I start worring about him. That is to say I’m totally in panic. Where can I look for him?........Han River......maybe he went there....he likes that place the most in Seoul....well it’s worth a try.

 

*

  
            Arriving at the river I notice a similar figure like Donghyun in the dark near the bank. He is sitting with knees pulled up in a bench. Getting closer I see he is shivering in the cold. I take off my coat and lay it on his back. He makes a motion. „ I knew you would come to find me.” He says without looking up at me. „You always worries about me as if I were your real little brother.” His voice is shaking. „Sorry.....but I can’t look at you like my brother anymore......”I hesitate. „.....I think I’m really into you.....” I blurt it out finally. He roses his gaze at me suddenly. He seems surprised. „What?!....Are you sure?...Some hours ago you .....” he doesn’t end his sentence. „Well...I went over everything....and I realised I stopped thinking of you as my dongsaeng a long time ago...” His gaze is following my every moves as I sit next to him. „I just want to be with you...” I say looking at the stars. After some minutes he still keeps quiet. I glance at him curiously and he is staring back at me tearful eyes. „Wow....what’s wrong?!” I ask worriedly grabbing his cold hands. „You hate me that much?” I ask. „Nooo...I’m just.....afraid of buttsex...” he groans it out. I can’t help laughing at him. He is just too cute. He is hitting my arm sulking. „Au...it hurts!” I whine then grab his hands stopping him. „If you hurt me, I will fuck you hard in this bench.” He stays still. His eyes wide with fear, but slowly they become longing. „Maybe....I really do that...” I’m whispering into his ear. „You are crazy.” he says and pushes me away. „Yeah....You drive me crazy.” I’m cupping his face in my hands and peck his lips. „Hey.....Everybody is looking at us.” he is whispering looking around. „Nobody cares about us....but if you are such a scared cat we can find a way to solve this problem.” I grip his hand and make him follow me. „Where are we going?” he asks shyly. „You will get to know if we get there.” I say giving a smirk at him. He is just looking at me cautiously.

 

*

  
          „I said I wouldn’t eat you.” Donghyun is just blinking at me over his bibimbap „What’s wrong? Maybe you want to eat something else....” I say looking down onto my dick. He is following my gaze and gulps a big one. For one minute our eyes met then he starts to shovels his food. „How greedy!” It’s calming to see him like this. About an hour ago I really thought about the worst things.....maybe somebody kidnapped him or raped him. He is charming even if men see him. Look at he turned me gay as well. As I’m staring at him I notice the top button of his shirt is undone. My hands move without thinking. „Uhhh....everybody can see your chest...” I scold him grabbing his collar to hide his skin. „As you said nobody cares about us.” he says smiling and removes my hand. Is he teasing me? He must really enjoy the situation because his eyes sparkle from satisfaction. Yes....Kim Donghyun, you can be happy that you got me.


	3. Present

**Youngmin’s pov**

 

          4 months passed since Donghyun and I started to date. Everything was like a dream, we whispered dirty things into each other’s ears, we hugged and kissed hundred times and nestled against each other's naked bodies and even jerked off together, BUT WE HAVE NEVER HAD SEX. DongDong always stops me when I want to do something more. I know that he is afraid of having sex with a man but I think I will go crazy. I feel like there is a wall between us...maybe he still doesn’t trust in me even though I have done everything as he wanted me to do in the last few months. I know I promised to be patient but it’s so difficult to wait when only his mere presence makes me horny. Of course I love his soul too so it make me happy to just be with him, but you know when you love someone you can’t control your body. You just want to be together with that special person without boundaries. It’s natural.

          Moreover my lover doesn’t ease the situation. Despite his past shyness, now he walks up and down in the nude when we are just the two of us in the dorm. He usually takes a shower then goes to find a boxer shorts in his drawer. It must be told his drawer is under the TV so when I just watching my fav show once I see as he learns forward to look for his stuff letting me look his butt from a perfect angle. I just would like to fuck him there , but I don’t want to mess up our relationship. I promised to give him time. But he is a real tease. The other day he ate hotdog well it was still okay but when he finished it, a little ketchup left on his lips. I wiped away with my thumb and he licked the ketchup off then took my finger into his mouth and sucked it. „It was tasty.” he said and licked his lips after I had pulled my thumb out. „Which one was tasty....ketchup or my finger?” I asked cupping his chin with my hand smirking at him. „Both.” he replied letting me pull him closer and give a peck onto his lips. „Now which one is more delicious?” I asked. He licked his lips again. „Hmmm....I need more time to taste them.” I kissed him passionately. That damn table was between us so I couldn’t pull him as closer as I wanted. He was so sweet as he held up his hands because he didn’t want to smudge me. Maybe that night we would have had sex if our manager hadn’t come home. But he opened the door and we had to separate in the blink of an eye. Donghyun was so embarrased, his ears became red. He tried to do everything as normal as if nothing had happened some minutes ago, but he seemed more suspicious. I just looked at him smirking. He was too cute. „What were you doing? I feel like I ended something fun.” Our manager said and glanced at my tablet. Maybe he thought we watched porn. Well we wanted to do dirtier things than that....at least I wanted.

            Today is Christmas and my birthday, too. „All I want for Christmas is you.” I hope Donghyun understood my hint when I sang this line for him in my surprise B-Day V Live that we had shot before we came to Taiwan. We were supposed to go back to Korea to have a Christmas party with our fans, but our flight was delayed, so we decided to turn on V Live to pass the time. DongDong looks so tired and sensitive today, but he still manages to host this small show. Maybe he is angry with me because of I didn’t react well to his birthday surprise in that B-Day V Live. The truth is I waited for something more than a cake. I thought so much what could I do for his birthday and at the end I managed to make him cry with that special video. I hoped-for he made an effort to make me surprised. Of course I still adore him, my feelings are still the same I just would like to get something special gift. For example something handmade (cake, seaweed soup) to show me he really cares about me. He loves me as much as I love him. „I’m still looking forward to it, Donghyun. I’m still looking forward to my birthday, which hasn’t ended yet. Donghyun?” I’m trying to sound joking. „Let’s see about that later.” He says smiling. „Okay.” Maybe he really has something in his mind to make me happy today.

  
*

  
           „It’s Youngmin time today. I wanted to hold an event right on Youngmin time, so I will be hosting this today with that vibe.” Our eyes meet. Yesss...I knew he really prepare something special present for me. „I don’t know what I am saying right now either. I don’t know...I just want to do this.” He is so suspicious. Well I will wait Kim Donghyun....I will wait....

 

*

**Donghyun’s pov**

  
  
          Today is Christmas and my Youngmin hyung’s birthday, too and I’m so tired because I was reading all night. You will never find out what I was reading. It’s a secret........ Okay...okay....I let the cat out of the bag. I was surfing the net when a link popped up. Dongpaca fanfic (Youngmin×Donghyun). It seemed interesting so I clicked on it. But it wasn’t what I expected. „Youngmin fucked Donghyun hard on the table.”.... „Donghyun was moaning with pleasure constantly”.......My face became red......They can read my mind. „Daebak! Our fans are awesome!”

                There was a fic that seemed perfect for today. Birthday Present for Youngmin. In that fic I gave myself for hyung as his special gift. It made me think maybe ....maybe I would do this to my boyfriend. Yes....he is my boyfriend for 4 months. I know I made him wait for me this long. He really deserved to give myself to him finally. He showed me he really loves me. There is only one problem....I’m still afread of buttsex!!! Of course I’m not a virgin girl, but I feel like I were one. I fuked a few girls in the past, but nobody has fucked me. Maybe you ask now why I’m the uke (yeah now I know such words from fanfics)....well I also don’t know. I just can’t imagine him like that. He is a real God Zero....maybe you can’t believe but he really is. He just looks at me and I do what he wants. It was so difficult not to let him fuck me till now. Only my fear stopped me. But in these fanfics having sex with a guy seems enjoyable so.....I will give it a try. Maybe it isn’t as bad as I think.

               Today will be the day, when we finally have sex. „It’s Youngmin time today. I wanted to hold an event right on Youngmin time, so I will be hosting this today with that vibe.” I say and Youngmin looks at me. Our eyes meet and I feel like he is reading my mind. „ I don’t know what I am saying right now either. I don’t know...I just want to do this.” I mumble.  
But there's the rub we are in Taiwan and wait for our flight back to Korea and to top it all there is always someone around us. How can we do it then? I need a good plan.

 

*

  
**Youngmin’s pov**

 

               After our V Live Donghyun is still too quiet. It’s uncommon. He usually talks with our stuff cheerfully. But now he is just sitting in an armchair and reading something on his phone. Maybe he doesn’t feel well, because his cheeks are too red.

          „Are you ill?.....Do you have a fever?” I ask him and put my hand on his forehead. He doesn’t answer my question, only closes his eyes. „Maybe I really have a fever......” he says smiling. I lean closer and whisper in his ear, „I think.....you are only horny, baby.” He opens his eyes and glance at me then his dick. „Oawww....” he starts from his chair and rushes out of the room. I think he goes to the toilet. I just notice he left his phone unlocked. I can’t help myself watching at the screen. What?!....DongPaca fanfic.....(Youngmin×Donghyun)...so you are into these kind of things Kim Donghyun....I smirk. So finally you have decided it.....It makes me so happy. Now I really can’t wait for your present.


	4. Love is .......

**Donghyun’s pov**

 

          Finally we arrived in Korea. Well it passed midnight so Youngmin’s Day is over. But it doesn’t mean he won’t get his present. It will be a very special belated gift. We slept on the plane so I think we are both full of energy. Youngmin seems excited as if he suspects something. We are sitting on back seats of our van and he is holding my hand and kissing it...it’s dark here so I think our manager wouldn’t see anything from the front even if he turned back. Now Youngmin hyung leans his head on my shoulder and starts kissing my neck. I can’t help letting him everything he wants. I hear our Rush on you song on the radio.  
„I’ ve never did this before. As obvious as it can get with words.  
I’ve never seen this kind of reaction in me.  
It’s my first time being so strongly attracted by a person.  
It’s really my first time. What feeling is this?”  
It’s just like I feel now. Youngmin stops kissing my neck. He tilts his head back then he looks at me. His hand slips down onto my leg and pets my knee through the hole of my pants. His eyes glints in the dark and I hear his voice on the radio.  
„I actually like you a lot.  
To even say that ”I love you” in front of your face.  
Although I can’t say it as it’s quite embarrassing  
............................  
Want you, I want you.”  
I close my eyes and feel as his hand slowly slips between my thighs. I can’t help spreading my legs letting him stroke my dick. Yeah I also want him. I can’t wait anymore. Just let it be.

          „Wake up, guys. We get home!” I hear our manager’s voice. I open my eyes wide and push hyung’s hand away. Thanks God! It seems he thinks we only slept. We get out of the car, but it isn’t easy with hard dick. Youngmin looks sulky. I think he wants to play with me more. He is going in front of me without turning back to see me. Maybe I was a little harsh with him as I pushed his hand away, but we would be in trouble if our manager noticed our little secret. As I’m thinking, Alpaca gets the door of our dorm.

         „Happy Birthday!!!!...” Look! It surprised you all, isn’t it?! Yes I have organised this party for my hyung. It was so difficult to call here all of his friends on Christmas Eve, but they were so kind to came. „Did you do this?” Youngmin asks me after he greeted his pals. „Look now we are more than five.” I’m joking with him. „Yeah ..... well I don’t know how did you drew together this....but thank you.” he says and grips my hand. After this party you will get your extra special present, too. I can’t help chuckling. „Wish for something!” his friends are shouting to him as they are holding his cake. He glances at me and I know exactly what he desires. As I’m looking at his longing expression in the candlelight, I can’t help shaking....I feel myself so lucky and proud that I can be his boyfriend. I would like to shout out to the world that he is mine, but I can’t do that.

  
*

  
          The party is over. Despite hyung and I couldn’t drink alcohol, it was still funny. My cheekbones still hurt because of laughing too much. Our manager went to his girlfriend’s place so he left us alone. I’m washing up the dishes at the moment. „You must be tired.” Youngmin whispers into my ear while backhugging me. „No...” I say tilting my head back onto his shoulder. He is rocking me and bites my shoulder gently then kisses my neck. I can’t help rubbing my butt against his dick. I can feel his hardness through his pants. I wash the foam off my hands then turn towards him. „Its time to get your special present.” I say and he is just blinking at me. „I will give myself to you tonight as your gift.” He is still looking at me. „Aren’t you happy?” I ask confusedly. „Are you sure?.....I don’t think I can stop this time if we start....” he says finally. I take a deep breath then nod. „I want you...” I tell him looking into his dark eyes. „It makes me so happy.” He says smiling. „I will be gently....I won’t force you to do things you don’t want to do.” „Enough talk!” I pull him closer by his shirt. „I’m not a girl.” I say and kiss him rough. „So you are into these kind of things.” he smirks at me and makes me turn then he just pulls my sweatpants with my boxer shorts down. I cling the sink as I feel he kisses my butt then he starts to lick my asshole. I can’ t help moaning quietly because wow he really makes me shiver only with his tongue. „Hmmm...my birthday cake is so delicious.” I open my eyes as I hear what he is saying. „ Wait!.....Did you also read that fanfic?!...” I ask and turn towards him. „Do you mean that fic where I fuck you hard on a kicthen table?” He says looking up at me. My cheeks become red. He stands up and take my hands into his. „Donghyun...It’ s real life. How can I do those things with you on your first time. I said I will be gentle. You know it’s also my firts time with a boy.” He seems embarrassed as he rubs his nape and avoids my gaze. „Let’s make it special, DongDongie. I have already said...Don’t think....” He says then whisper into my ear, „ just feel..”

  
*

  
             After that we became one. It would be confusing to tell every detail. Let’s say it wasn’t like in those fanfics at all. Yeah....it hurt but it was still good. You know it was a sweet pain. Youngmin was so kind as he had promised. Now I am more into him than before. For me love is when you do everything to make that special person happy because his/her smile make your heart skip a beat and it’s just feels good...so good.

  
*

  
**Youngmin’s pov**

 

               Last night was so beautiful and unforgettable. Donghyun became mine finally. It wasn’t just a fuck and go thing, it was lovemaking. Our bodies and soules melted into one. I know it sounds sappy, but I have never felt like this way before. He makes me feel special because I’m the first man in his life and I hope I’m the last one as well.

            As I’m gazing at him lying on his stomach naked on the white sheets in the morning sunshine, I feel he is just too perfect to be true. I need to take a photo of him. „I’m awake already...” my DongDongie says as he notices what I’m doing. „It's a violations of my personality rights. Just say to know I will take action against you...wait for my lawyer’s call.” he adds holding up his index finger. „Fuuu....how strict you are.....” I smirk and lie behind him. Our naked body meet as I’m backhugging him. „But I like it...I will let you punish me.” I whisper into his ear. „Just wait until my ass get well....Mr. Lim Youngmin....You will regret this.” He mutters. „I can’t wait to realize all your dirty dreams , Mr. Kim Donghyun.” I say and he hits me with his elbow. I give a peck on his cute cheek in return. „You know what?.....” „Hmmm...” „......It ...was....my best....birthday ever in my 23 years of existence....” I see as Donghyun’s ear become red then he covers his face with the sheets. Awww...He is so fucking precious. „I also want to play hide and seek!” I shout and follow him under the blanket. You can see our life is sweeter than all of the fanfics you write.

 

**Closing line**

  
Love makes you change in a good way, you learn to wait and appreciate the small things in life.

 

**Happy Ending!**

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